You guys ( I tried gals. Doesn’t work for me.)
I wrote this on thought catalog today. Here is a link to it:
I also quoted it below. I think it’s called a teaser, which would make me a tease.
It’s the ultimate irony. All the times my mother claimed I had an affinity for wounded birds? I was the one with broken wings so large I should have been in “Pterodactyl Porn.” (Google it. Trust me.) The times when I’d sit around with and joke about the “Dream Team” of crazy in my past? I should have been cast as Michael Jordan. (Please tell me you aren’t Googling that right now.) I know it seems a little less exciting than just going on about the time someone asked me to pee on them after sex or the time I earned the nickname “Eternal Bastard” at 3 a.m. but I promise to try and keep you as entertained as I can.